Inhale! Exhale! Inhale! Exhale! Inhale! Exhale! Inhale! Exhale! Inhale! Exhale! [entries|friends|calendar] Michael Sparks [ website | Sexual Solicitation ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

about as bittersweet as it can get. [28 Sep 2007|12:11pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | Mineral ] Last night while cruising thirteen thousand feet above, I had so much time to think before landing in the place I was so surely to call my home only two months ago. I couldn't help thinking about her, my eyes would well up just as frequent as the dips and turns we'd take in the air. Amidst all of the turbulence I noticed something, there were two types of people on the flight I was on. There were the lonely people, with fear in their eyes for their own safety. "I'm not ready!" was most likely the only thought present in their minds. And then, in an almost complete contrast, there were the people with love in their eyes. I witnessed a couple staring into each other's eyes with complete and total adoration. The shape of their youthful bodies made a heart. Even when it seemed like the plane was taking it's worst beating, they were just enjoying the moment they had together and that even if things were to go down then and there they would be happy that at least they were together. I started to wonder in all of this, where do I fit in? Was I afraid for my own life? To be honest I've encountered more bumps within my own life that a little turbulence was the least of my concerns. I was not floating in a sea of love. I was merely left a witness to the people around me. Cinema verite. I'm starting to pick up the pieces, and there is still the biggest piece absent from me. I will always be in love with her. She is my strength, my reason, and my hope. Tears are a daily reaction to the insatiable craving, the daily yearning for the purest and deepest sense of truth I have ever encountered. I may never be the same inside, but I am so thankful for the life I was given. I was born in the spring of 2006. Love always conquers all. 0 For You

woah.. [31 May 2007|01:47am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | tfot ] I am already becoming the stereotypical film maker, as nick quaintly pointed out, with my jeans t-shirt, hoodie and beard. not to mention i have only eaten one square meal today. I'm just busy, busy doing practically nothing. I'm excited for this summer and the future, I appreciate having Anthony in town, with our highly intellectual, productive, and alleviating conversations. I learned how to correctly spell the word facade, which is exciting. It feels really weird posting on here again, I guess because I only posted when something good/bad was happening, not just because. I guess this is a just because post, either that or that's all you get to see behind this facade. The office is most definitely a top notch show. I hope everyone is doing well. 4 For Me| 0 For You

[14 Aug 2006|04:02pm] Descartes is sitting in a bar, having a drink. The bartender asks him if he would like another. "I think not," he says, and vanishes. 0 For You

An actual post. [03 Aug 2006|08:27pm] I had to get on here and post this mainly because I am home alone and really have no one to call and talk about this to and I'd rather not keep it all bottled up ready to explode. Basically my girlfriend Madison is in Maryland at a college volley ball camp, and the only times I get to hear from her is early in the morning and late at night. Whenever she goes to these camps I get terrified and beat myself up inside, because of a series of irrational fears. I am afraid that when she's away she'll meet some hot guy, I am afraid that she'll enjoy the time away from round rock a lot and not want to come home, I am afraid that I'll annoy her too much by calling and texting her.. All these stupid fears I fight away with reason and some convincing, but when she calls me at night and sounds like she doesn't really want to talk, I feel like I am sinking and fighting to make things alright. She tells me that she's tired, aching, and her head hurts, and that she loves me and misses me. I have the problem that if someone sounds like they do not want to talk to me, I take it as if they have a problem with me and do not want to talk to me, when in fact it could be something completely different. And so I press on with "what's wrong?" and "I love you!" I've got something amazing going on right now, I feel love! dizzy, nervous, shy, kind love, the stuff you dream about, you write about, you claim you'll never find when you're at your very lowest point. I hold on to every single memory and every single second, I wait for saturday to come, and to see the face that will let me know that every thing is and will be okay, for now and forever. I'm a nervous, lovesick, romantic, wreck. 0 For You

My reply... [02 Aug 2006|07:17am] it seems some people prefer to stir controversy rather than keep friends :( My response: woah jesus gabe!! you've already jumped to attacking me?! That post was pertaining to the fact that I was going to go with anthony but I had to tell him yesterday that I was broke and couldn't make it. I'm making the best of a bad situation. since when have I ever dogged 25 or not stood behind you and rubbed your back why you played, or tell you that it was a good set? Calling me a musical genius and making this post was indeed very ignorant. Rather than talking it through with me you resorted to stirring controversy, which will ultimately get you nowhere in life except with an absence of friends. I'm pretty upset that you'd go this far, and take it this way. But if that's the way it is, you can't change a person.. I'm sorry you've taken my post this way, if you want to leave it this way just to draw attention to yourself then so be it, i'll play the martyr to your cause gabe.. love you buddy. 6 For Me| 0 For You

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